Questioning Post: Part 4 - Straightness and Gender

• Having a lot of conflicting gender feelings that are only possible to resolve once you understand you are/can be a lesbian.

I do have complicated feelings about gender, but I'm not sure if this is applicable since idrk if I'm a lesbian yet. Maybe?

• Thinking that being GNC and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood means that you can’t be a woman, even if that’s what feels closest to right. Many lesbians are GNC and many lesbians feel disconnected from traditional womanhood since it’s so bound up in the heteropatriarchy.)

I'm not GNC, but I did/do feel some disconnect from womanhood, so... maybe?

• Knowing you’re attracted to women and not being able to parse that (esp + any gender non-conformance) as gay, taking a long time to figure out if you’re a straight man or a lesbian.

I did consider being a trans man for a hot second, but I mostly feel like this is N/A. Though perhaps this is about trans women and not me?

• Being dysphoric about the parts of you that make straight men think your body is owed to them, having to figure out what that dysphoria means for/to you.

Sort of? Not sure.

• Knowing you’re attracted to women, but feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable trying to interact with them as a straight man, and only later realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian.

N/A, I'm not trans.

• Knowing you’re gay, but experiencing a lot of the symptoms of comp het or coercive heteronormativity, when you try to interact with men romantically and/or sexually, and only later realizing you’re a trans lesbian and not a gay man.

N/A

• Being non binary and taking a long time to sort through being able to respect/understand your non binary identity and your lesbianness at the same time

N/A, I stopped ID as nb.

• Thinking that all straight girls feel at least some attraction to women

Sort of? I definitely used to think that.

• Thinking that your interest in seeing attractive women/scantily clad women/boobs is an artificial reaction caused by the objectification of women in media.

Yes, yes.

• Being really into how women look “aesthetically”/“just as artistic interest.”

Yes, before I started ID-ing as bi.

• Thinking it’s objective and uncontested that almost all women are way more attractive than most men.

Yes, doesn't everyone? Even my grandma thinks that, and I'm pretty sure she's straight unless she's a deeply closeted bi.

• Being a really intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly emotional about homophobia but assuming you’re just a Really Good Ally and very empathetic.

Yes, before I started identifying as bi.

• Having like half your friend group turn out to be LGBT+.

Don't have a lot of friends right now, so this is N/A.

• Getting emotional or having a strong reaction you don’t understand to f/f love stories etc.

Yes, and m/m as well.

• Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay.

There were people who thought I was bi, does that count?