Questioning Post: Part 3 - Women and Attraction

• Feeling like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman.

I've identified as bi for a while, so I can imagine both. N/A

• Feeling like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman.

N/A

• Thinking you couldn’t be a lesbian because you’re not attractive enough, cool enough, or otherwise in the same league as most of the women you know

Yes.

• Interacting with het sex/romance in media by imagining yourself in the man’s position or just never/rarely imagining yourself in the woman’s position.

Maybe. Yes?

• Really focusing on the women in heterosexual porn.

Yes!!

• Being really into the idea of kissing/being sexual with a woman ‘to turn guys on.’

Uh, no. I definitely don't think so.

• Being really annoyed when guys actually do express interest in watching or joining in when you do that

N/A

• Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual interest in women when you’re inebriated or otherwise impaired.

No, I identify as bi already. Also, I don't drink or take drugs, so this is N/A as well.

• Seeing a relationship between two women elicits a much stronger and more real emotional reaction than het relationships ever do.

Yes, I think so?

• You get anxiety around men and feel more comfortable in settings with women.

Eh, depends? Maybe?

• You have very high standards for men you might date, and comparatively lower standards when it comes to women.

I don't know. I do have a very specific type of women that I'm attracted to, but I am also attracted to other types of women sometimes so.

• Being mistaken for a couple with one of your (girl) friends is exciting for you, and being mistaken for a couple with one of your (guy) friends elicits no reaction or feels weird or wrong.

I have no idea, tbqh.

• None of your girl friend’s partners are ever good enough for them, and you take it very personally, and you don’t feel the same way about the men you’re friends with.

No? Pretty much none of this I think.

• Wanting to be a lesbian, but feeling like if you don’t already know you are one you can’t be.

Yes? Maybe?

• Feeling guilty about wanting to be a lesbian, feeling like you’re just attention-seeking or trying to be trendy.

Yes? I also felt this way about being bi, being nb (which I'm not) and being on the ace/aro spectrum.

• You think, or fear, that you might be a lesbian, and you find yourself somewhat constantly/desperately trying to prove to yourself that you’re not.

Maybe? I don't know. Not fear per se, but I do question sometimes, and then try to prove I'm not.

• Suppressing your lesbian dreams, because you think exploring that desire would mean you’re a bad/homophobic person using lesbian-ness selfishly.

I don't really understand what this means.

• Wishing you were a lesbian to escape the discomfort of dating men

N/A, I don't date

• Fantasizing about how much fun it would be to be a lesbian and just be with women/a specific woman, but thinking that can’t be for you

I don't know? I already ID as bi, so N/A

• Worrying that some of your past attraction to men was actually real so you can’t be a lesbian

Yes, definitely.

• Worrying that because you can’t be 100% sure you’re not attracted to men, and can’t be 100% sure you won’t change your mind, you can’t be a lesbian.

YESS!!!

• Worrying that you only want to be a lesbian because of trauma, and that means your lesbian-ness would be Fake.

I don't think so? I do have some trauma, but I can't discern how much it's affected me.

• Worrying that trauma-induced complications in how you experience sex (e.g., a habit of self-harming via sex w men or a fear of any sex at all) mean you’re not a Real Lesbian(TM).

N/A, I don't have sex.